How can you tell if....

... a drug dealer is open and available for business? Well, generally speaking if you are sure there's a drug dealer at a particular house (because a friend told you, or something) and the information is fresh, then the dealer will most often be home and you can stop by. But if you don't like walking up and ringing the doorbell at a house you don't know, then look for this:

If some guys are out in the front "working on a car" that's a sure sign.

See you around sometime.

-DB

Sneakers hanging from telephone wires

For all you folks out there who don't know what it means when you see some tennis shoes hanging from the power lines... it means there's a drug dealer nearby. I don't need that because everyone knows where to find me. But dealers that hang out in parks (check out the shoes hanging from the line at Ross Enchanted Park - classic!) or in dodgy neighborhoods sometimes use this sign. Another sign is the plastic bag hanging up in a tree right near someones apartment or something - that's another sign. But the bag thing isn't as sure because bags get caught up in trees all the time. So the shoes thing is a better way to go.

You probably wondered "how the hell did someones shoes get stuck up there on the telephone line like that?" Well, now you know.

I can't believe my luck sometimes!

Well, this may seem strange but here goes. I'm a drug dealer in Albuquerque, New Mexico. My customers are drug dealers, too. So I don't actually know where the stuff goes after I sell it. A few months ago, the cops actually raided my house (where I usually sell the drugs) but we were tipped off by a neighbor so we moved everything out of there in plenty of time. So when the cops showed up and looked around, they didn't find shit.

This was amazing to me because as I've learned from the grape vine, the cops had a list of license plates on cars that had come to my house for months, and many of them are owned by known drug dealers. You'd think that they could have nailed me by now! But my landlord stepped in and had his lawyer help me out. I guess he likes the "extra" payments I make on the rent!

Anyway, my address is:

8010 Roma NE
Albuquerque, NM 87108

So if you need drugs, be sure and stop by.